Vladimir, comrade, how’s it hanging these days? It was just a little over four years ago that you marched the tanks into Ukraine, even had the tanks lined up on the main road to Kyiv. It would be a piece of cake you thought. Just like Crimea all over again. You even thought the Ukrainians would welcome you with open arms. Heck their leader was a comedian.

Yet, here you are four years later. I heard you’re taking to living in bunkers. Your country men aren’t that happy with you. People are using burner phones to get around your Internet crack down. It is estimated that 30,000 Russians, a month, are seriously injured or killed. 30,000, that’s a big number, Vladimir. And now long range Ukrainian drones are going deep into Russia. The other night, the Ukraine sent 500 freaking drones into Russia. You had some big to do in Saint Petersburg, and Ukraine decided to blow some of it up while you were there. Your hometown, Vladimir. That must’ve pissed you off. The sanctions are working even despite your best buddy Donald trying to help . He’s having his own little issue with Iran right now. You may have noticed.

Vladimir, maybe you and Donald should get together for a couple days and have a kind of pity party. No one understands the both of you. You’re just trying to do what’s best for your country, while ripping off your citizens of billions of dollars. Sucks to be you, Vladimir.

That’s all I got for today.