America turns 250 years old this weekend. Donald Trump is president. Donald Trump wants a legacy. He wants this to be the biggest, bestest most beautiful birthday celebration ever. He decided to hold the Great American Fair, including exhibits from all 50 states. This would be an event to remember.

Sorry, Donald, not turning out that way. First, you were going to have big name performers at the fair all week. Once these performers found out how politicized you were making it they backed out. I think you still have vanilla ice don’t you? You said well screw the performers, you’re gonna give a speech yourself. You did that last weekend and hardly anybody showed up. And this is really pissing you off.

You’ve got Fox News with a backdrop of the fair with nobody there, saying how great it is and how crowded it is. They’re saying this despite how empty the fairgrounds are, in the background

Security is tight. So nobody is allowed onto the fairgrounds with food and drink. They have food tents where water is going for five bucks a bottle. There’s hardly any shade. This week the temperatures are going to be near 100°F. Kind of a stroke of bad luck there isn’t it. Talking about heat stroke.

Another legacy boondoggle like the ballroom and the reflecting pool.

You know what is going to be the most talked about event this weekend, Donald, on the 250th anniversary? It’s not going to be your fair. That’s for sure.

Yep. America’s sweetheart is going to get married to an American football hero. Taylor and Kelce are getting married, with the celebrations being held at the centre of the universe, that being Madison Square Garden.

Donald, you remember Madison Square Garden. That’s where you showed up to watch the Knicks play in the finals, and you got booed big time.

You’ll be lucky if you get any airplay at all this weekend, Donald. Your great American fair will turn into the great American flop.

That’s all I have for today.